carols and such
I can't wait to open my Whinnie-the-pooh advent calendar! I've been listening to carols already, awaiting the day when we get to decorate the house. My sister is very praticular about her tree only being silver and blue. But this year I bought a Baby's first christmas ornament for my niece so there will have to be a lil' pink allowed. Jacob is starting to say more words now, every movie to him is "MeMo" cuz finding nemo is his favorite one. Pretty darn cute if you ask me. Ava has a sniffly nose, poor lil' one, she's so stinkin' cute with her chubby lil' cheeks. Ok I know i talk about them like their my own kids. Snow fell on the mountain behind our house, can't wait for it to reach us.
first sight of snow
I guess it might be wierd that I really like winter. Although I don't like the cold, I really like the feeling of starting my car up and knowing that in a few minutes I will be cozy with the heat on my feet while it defrosts my windsheild. I like to be cozy, I love big chunky knitted sweaters and moccasins, which I can already tell will be my new staple this season. I love the sound of my shoes crunching the snow and the feeling of a scarf around my neck. Hot chocolate and skating, christmas and midnight snowfall. I can't wait to start listening to christmas carols.
Uncovered
I am playing one of my songs at church on sunday, I'm a bit nervous for sure. I think I mostly lack confidence because I wish I was better at the guitar than I am, I hope I don't chicken out.
Purge me
Empty me
Wrap me in your arms of grace
Make me to be like you
Father I want to honour you
Break me on your cornerstone
I lift my eyes to you alone
I will wait I will wait
For you to come and see the inside of me the inside of me
Without you I am naked I am naked
Without you I am broken I am broken
Without you I am ashamed I am ashamed
So clothe me in your garments of grace (E last time)
Search me
Call me
Knock on the door of my heart
Cleanse me from iniquity
Spirit I want you close to me
A sinner I am at your door
I won’t leave till I have more….of you
Inside of me Inside of me
Unfashioned and scattered
Hopeless and battered
Rugged and tattered
I come to you
haircut and other explainations
This is a mish-mosh of the summer. Me and my sister suzi at the capilano suspension bridge, Me and kyle in falkland and a huge random turkey with french fries stuck in it. That was a good summer for sure. I am sad that its over but happy about what lies ahead. I will miss kyle cuz he will have his head in the books for the next 4 months.I just got a haircut, and tho I like it, I am still having remorse about it. The rule is, as long as you can still put it in a ponytail, right ladies? I am officially ready to wear some sweaters and shoes.
Daniel's leaving tonight on a plane....
Sometimes I wish I could cry but the tears don't come. I wonder if it's because I'm calous or if I've just internalized my feelings so many times that I've trained my tearducts not to release any liquid. Like today its the 9th year since my Dad died and I feel like I should be ok by now and I wonder why on this day the pain seems so much worse than any other day. I feel bad if I don't think about him enough but I also feel emotionally crippled when I think about him too much. Maybe I just need to dedicate some time just remembering him and missing him too. Cuz I alwayz say that if 2 people miss each other at the same time it cancels it out.
"God I miss Daniel, I miss him so much"
who's idea was that?
One thing I totally forgot to rant about was the lack of people who don't like to read anymore. I heard someone say the other day "I'm not a reader" I'm thinking, How can you not be? It's one thing if you dont have time to read, but to say that you aren't a reader, to me says "I'm lazy, and I only want to be visually stimulated". I do like watching movies, but there is nothing like reading a story and letting your imagination run wild. Its so recent that we've been able to get away with not reading, but before tv and all that people had to read and write to entertain themselves. I think the only reason why people don't like to read is cuz they havn't given it a chance or they are dyslexic.
Bittersweet Symphony
I'm getting really frusterated with myself lately because I haven't been the best at keeping in contact with old friends. I've made so many friends all over the world while I was travelling and it makes me sad to think I most likely won't see them again. I alwayz have the best intentions to keep in touch but I guess everyone does. My bestfriends from growing up and highschool seem so far from me now, and there's part of me that wishes I had tried harder to keep up with them. I hope they know that I love them, that when I think of their smiles and the memories we had together, my heart twinges in pain. They've all had a part in making me who I am.
